When we started homeschooling, I did what most people do. I read the literature, I bought the books, I planned. And most of all I had dreams.
We decided to start homeschooling when our oldest was in 2nd grade. She had had a rough couple of years, being bullied and not learning how to read. From everything that I read I was sure that getting her home would be all she needed to thrive. I read about children who were graduating high school at 14, earning a bachelors at 16, and earning a masters degree before turning 18. I read about children who were starting their own businesses. In short, I read about all the homeschool kids who were doing amazing things.
Since I was a good student I expected that with a bit of nurturing, this would be my kids as well.
Reality
My reality turned out to be nothing like what I had dreamed about. Turns out my daughter was struggling to read because of mild dyslexia and ADD. At that time, a student needed to be two full years behind in order to be put in special ed classes. And at the time, she was only six months behind. This is what led to lots of kids getting into special ed in 4th or 5th grade.
She finally learned to read, but it was not easy, or quick, or painless. As more children joined our homeschool, I got to use my study skills to learn more about dyslexia, dyscalclia, ADD, ADHD, autism, and a lot about parenting bull-headed children. Seems they would rather be farming than becoming my scholastic prodigies.
My ego took quite a few beatings over children that were not scholars. I had to learn to be OK with who God made my children to be. And honestly, it was hard. I would look at other people’s kids soaring through their lessons and feel like a failure. I would feel like giving up, because what difference was I making.
What I Learned
However, God was teaching me a lot while I was struggling to teach my children. Patience. Perseverance. Understanding.
Not every child is destined to be a college graduate. Every child has a unique destiny and it is our privilege as parents to nurture and guide them to be the best they can be. Not the best one in the world or even better than others around them, but their own best.
Looking back on our homeschooling years (not that they are totally done yet), I learned to:
- Hang in there. You are making a difference. Your children need your love and consistency.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. At various times, my children had help from tutors, family friends, an occupational therapist, and the school autism specialist.
- Don’t be afraid to try new curriculum if one is not working. There is no one size fits all.
- Don’t jump curriculum ships without a fair trial. That was one of my big mistakes starting out.
- Since I was expecting instant, genius level results, I was quick to dump one method and jump onto something else, usually more expensive.
- This just confused the kids.
- Look beyond academics.
Homeschooling beyond academics
Homeschooling can and should encompass the entire life, not just focus on academics. My kids learned to cook, bake, can, garden, farm, and care for younger children. For them this was valuable because it gave them a chance to focus on things they were actually good at. As a family, we participated in 4-H where they learned leadership skills, public speaking, and many other life skills.
One of the biggest advantages of homeschooling for us was the time it gave us as a family. My husband worked 12-hour shifts Wednesday through Saturday. By arranging our school hours to coincide with his work schedule, the kids had time with their father. We also got to take advantage of shopping and camping during the week.
I did not end up with the academic geniuses that my ego planned on. But I raised/am raising the family that God gave me. And they are wonderful, caring women and men. Not all of them went to college, but some did. They are hard-working, generous, and fun to be around. Looking at the older ones gives me hope and courage as I look at the one still at home. I can do this.
As you look around you and wonder if you are making a difference, yes, yes you are. Just keep on. The laundry piles will eventually go away as the kids learn to do their own laundry. The dishes will get less as they move out. The lessons will get easier as they learn to teach themselves.
You are not homeschooling just as an educational choice, but as part of your plan to raise an adult. Keep your eyes on the goal even as you struggle with the day-to-day. It is worth it.