Am I good enough? It is a question that plagues a lot of women. Am I a good enough mom? Wife? Employee? Person? Am I enough? I have struggled with these feelings for many years. Sometimes as a result of my own self-doubt. Sometimes as a result of believing what someone else says to me. What do we do with these feelings? What does it mean to find our worth?
The Problem
My first instinct is to do more. I can fix this. I will draw up a new homeschooling schedule and we will knock this year out of the park. I will just give up a bit more sleep and do the housework late at night after everyone has gone to bed. If I just plan better, stay up later, do more…then I will be enough. But what can we do when “trying harder” just isn’t cutting it?
When my plans do not work out, I become my own worst enemy and tell myself that I am not enough. I am a loser. I am a failure as a mom. As a wife. That someone else would do a better job with my kids than I ever could. That every mistake that my kids make reflects directly on me.
I’ve also tried getting angry at the people who are making me feel inferior. If you just did your part, then my part would be good enough! Did it ever occur to you that if you did something besides criticize me things would get better? What right do you have to tell me I am not good enough? You are not doing your share! Or internalize the anger so that it feeds my depression.
What God Says
I have finally come to the conclusion that neither trying harder nor anger will make me feel better about myself. Instead I need to start believing that what Jesus says about me is true, regardless of what anyone else says (including myself).
And what does Jesus have to say about my worth?
- I am forgiven. Isaiah 43:25
- I am called by name. Isaiah 43:1
- I am chosen and a friend of God. John 15:15-16
- Jesus loves me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20
- I am qualified. Colossians 1:12
- I am rooted and established in love. Ephesians 3:17
- I am blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Ephesians 1:3
When I listen to things that disagree with the things above, I am listening to LIES. Truth is what Jesus pours over me. In order to live in truth I have to turn away from the lies that surround me and to believe the truth of God that lives in me.
Finding My Worth
But how do we counter the lies? How can we find our worth in a world full of lies? Here are a couple of steps I have used.
- Read the Bible. It is God’s truth for you. If you are new to Bible reading there are lots of great plans and apps. I use the YouVersion app and plans.
- Meditate on Scripture. Mull over the truth. Select a verse that speaks to you and memorize it. The Holy Spirit will remind you of the truth you have read.
When I let God define my worth, rather than myself, others, or the world, I find peace and rest.