I love the memories that are stirred up by Facebook. Yesterday and today both I got reminders of my sons’ graduations from high school years ago. They looked so young! How does the time pass so quickly when you are busy raising kids?
I have raised seven kids to graduation so far and with each one I also remember my uncertainty. Had I done enough? Done too much? Were they ready to be launched on the world? Was I ready to let them go?
The time is short for raising kids
When babies are dedicated at our church, we give the parents a jar full of marbles, representing the weeks until graduation for that child. This is a visual reminder that the times are fleeting for us to make a difference and be an influence. And it gives a new meaning to losing your marbles….
I never had a jar to remind me how time was short, but I can remember thinking that I had lots of time. Until suddenly, I didn’t. How do you make the most of your time? How do you not be just raising kids but teach them all they need to know to be adults?
The short answer is that you can’t teach them all they need to know. They will need to be able to find the answers to things themselves. One thing I feel I did do right was to build a solid relationship with each of the children, so that they feel free to come to me for advice with whatever they are facing. Sometimes they just need help navigating employment insurance options, and sometimes they need me to pray because no human help is possible.
As I look at my grown-up kids, I really like who they have become. Besides reading , writing, science, and faith, these are some of the things we tried to teach them as they grew up:
What we tried to teach our kids
- Work. From the time they were little the kids have had work to do, and they learned the value of work. We never made it to doing it all without complaining, though.
- Responsibility. In addition to knowing how to work, they learned that not doing your work had consequences. Toys were destroyed, animals got hungry, fences fell apart.
- Life’s not fair. Sometimes you do your best and you get last place. You are bullied. A friend dies. We live in a sin-stained world that is not fair.
- God is good. All the time. Only he can make something beautiful out of our pain.
- Personal finance. Some of them are more frugal than others, but all were taught the basics of finance, and had jobs where they learned to manage their own money. If they can practice what they learned, they will be ahead of where I started (my math classes taught me to manipulate negative numbers…)
- Family. We did a lot together and the kids tend to enjoy each others’ company, whether just hanging out, camping, doing an activity, or working on a puzzle. I actually spent a lot of time praying that my kids would be friends. When I see how God has answered that prayer, I wish I would have prayed more for other things!
We certainly have not done everything perfectly or sometimes even well. Our kids have their struggles, and have their own mistakes to make. Yet they are people I really enjoy being around. So I consider them successfully raised into adults I can be proud of. Seven down and one to go!
What are some things on your “need to know before they leave” list?