It is hard to believe that is has been three months since I have been trying to turn my health around. Why is it that a few weeks of major depression and bad eating choices can lead to 20# on, and three months of trying to control my eating results in only 11# off??? How is this fair?
Trying, yet not trying
OK, to be honest, I hate trying to lose weight. I can only deny my sweet tooth for so long before it breaks out with a vengeance. Hello candy corn! And fresh baked chocolate chip cookies! I try to have healthier substitutes on hand, but so much of what I crave is just not good for me. It is really about retraining myself to crave things that are good for me. And the retraining can only happen when I deny myself long enough….
And exercise? I know I should. And I want to. Kind of. No. If I really wanted to exercise it would move further up the priority list. It is really not about learning what to do. I have read about tons of different diets, and ways to eat differently. I know about the importance of exercise for overall health. My problem is not a lack of knowledge, nor even a lack of will-power. My problem is spiritual, not merely physical.
A spiritual issue
whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV
Maybe not everyone needs to look at their overeating as a spiritual issue, but I do. Can I really say that I am eating a bag of candy corn for the glory of God? Knowing what it will do to my blood sugar? I need to be aware of the triggers around me and go to battle with scripture, rather than mindlessly plowing through.
The good news
On a positive note, I got my lab results back and my A1c is down from 8.7 to 7.3! Still high, but moving in the right direction. My cholesterol has also improved, and my depression is totally at bay. My doctor wanted to know “who are you and what have you done with my patient?” So there is my positive reinforcement to keep on with the lifestyle changes. But slow and steady is such a process. I really would like instantaneous results! Fat just melting away. Taste buds for sugar switched off. A sudden desire for lots of physical activity.
I want that spiritually as well. Can I have sudden maturity? Instant righteousness? A sudden desire to only let wholesome talk come out of my mouth? Jesus has “made perfect forever those who are being made holy” (Hebrews 10:14) and we are told to “work out your salvation” (Phil. 2:12). These tell us that we are in process. Just like it is a process to transform my obese, diabetic self into something healthier, so too, it is a process for the inner transformation to be worked out so that who we are inside is totally reflected on the outside.
For next month
- Pray for my choices to honor God
- Plan and prep meals to help make better decisions
- Get to the gym at least twice a week
- Continue increasing my steps
How are you planning to take care of yourself this month?
You can read more about my health journey HERE.